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Edwards Preening Video Rivals 'Birdcage' for Claim to Gayest Movie Ever Green Zone Hotel Employee Canned; Late Background Check Results Include Theft, Airline Hijacking

Putin, a Big Important World Leader, Endorses Bush Red Sox Fans Still Laughing About Kerry Pitch

'Man of Faith' Kerry Showcases 'Religious' Side by Appearing in 'Church' With 'Reverend' Jackson American League Playoffs: Hideki Matsui Leads Boston Red Sox 3-0

Kerry: "I Never Said Bush 'Lied', Just That He Has Mislead Us, Not Told the Truth, and Lied to Us" Procrastinating Undecideds Nervous About Forthcoming Global Test

Kerry/O'Reilly Debate Plans Stymied by O'Reilly Phone Sex Habit Recovering Bill Clinton Reportedly 'Not Happy' With All Male Nurse Staff

Presidential Debate Pre-empted for Yankee Coverage Bill O'Reilly is a Crazy Sex Fiend: Charge

Some Rock & Roll Guy to Deliver Major Foreign Policy Speech from Stage Tonight Kerry: 'I'm Fascinated by Gansta Rap'

Kerry Suggests 'Sin Tax' for Terrorism, Like Gambling and Prostitution Bush Opposition to Federal Funding for Stem Cell Research Blamed of Course

People Mag Wins Debate With Entertainment Weekly Over Britney Spears Wedding Legitimacy Kerry Plans to Release New Plan

Kerry Has Plans Bush/Laura Leading Kerry/Teresa in Polls by Wide Margin

Peaceful Protesters Ransack GOP Headquarters in Orlando Kerry and Edwards Leave Many Republicans Missing 'More Tolerable' Democrats, Like Clinton and Gore

Edwards' Debate Slip: Former Ambulance-Chaser Addresses Moderator as 'Your Honor' Bill O'Reilly Steps Out of 'No Spin Zone' Into BS Hallway, Says He Is Undecided Between Bush, Kerry

Edwards Brushing Up on Haliburton Stuff for Debate With Cheney Kerry Calls Sean Hannity Radio Program, Says 'Nuh Uh'

Debate Aftermath: Bush 'Looked Tired' After 12 Hours of Consoling Hurricane Victims; Kerry Surprisingly Refreshed, Energetic After Nap, Manicure Kerry Erupts as Mt. Saint Helens Blows Him Off Front Page of Newspapers

Tan Technicians Reportedly Asked Kerry to 'Not Disrobe' at Orange Spray Painting Session Bush Complains About Orange Glow From Senator Kerry's Lectern Area

Kerry 'In Seclusion' Prepping for Debate Makeup Kerry Ducks Gore Endorsement Offer by Letting Answering Machine Pick Up

Debate Preview: Kerry Aides Fear Their Candidate May Appear 'Kerry-ish' Too Close For Comfort: Asteroid to 'Brush Past' Earth With Only 50 Million Mile Buffer

Bush: Kennedy Leaves Americans More Vulnerable to Obesity Leak: Hugo Chavez Thank You Basket to Jimmy Carter Included Fruit, Potpourri, Friendship Locket

Bush Criticized for Anticipated Damage From Approaching Hurricane 7-11 Clerk's Write-In Candidacy Gaining Ground on Kerry

Poll: Women Concerned About Safety Lean Toward Bush, Away From Ugly Kerry John Kerry Stands by His Iraq Stances

Cat Stevens Travels Back to His Lair Spybot and Adaware Run Successfully on IRS Computers; Defragmenting to Begin Tomorrow

Teresa Heinz Says Her Husband is a 'Scumbag and a Loose Cannon' John Edwards Found Alive

Heinz Endowment Hires Well-Endowed Heinz Spokeswoman Change Retrieved From Seat Cushions at Emmys to be Used to Pay Down National Debt

CBS Loses Favored 'Single Digit Channel' Status, Moved to Channel 14 Teachers' Lounge Used to Teach Children About Clouds

FoxNews Memo Detailing CBS Bias Being Examined by Experts for Authenticity, Fairness Bobby Brown Not Arrested Today

Democrats Answer Kerry Likeabillity Poll Numbers: 'We Do Love John Kerry For His Ability to Attack Bush' Kerry Invites Press Along for Solo Climb to Top of Some Mountain

Kerry Says 'No' to Dukakis Offer of Joint Photo Op in Tank Mystery Bidder 'THEINZK' Continues to Win Pricey eBay Auctions for Kerry's 'The New Soldier'

Kucinich Supporters for Kerry Call for Peaceful End to Campaign In-fighting Conservative Republican Senator Zell Miller (D-GA) Gets It

State Dept: Mushroom Cloud of Hot Air in North Korea May Be Result of Jimmy Carter Presence Palm Beach Democrats Wondering Why Some Floridians Are Installing 'Window Glass Made Out of Plywood'

Kerry Delivers Major Policy Speech to Policy Speechmaking Majors New Energy Drink Reportedly Turns Consumers Into Their Choice of Pro Athlete or Rap Star

After Hurricane Frances, Floridians Eager to Get Power Back For TV News About Hurricane Ivan, Next Swift Boat Ad Confusing Slowdown in Florida Mobile Homes Perplexes Palm Beach County Democrats

Clintons Offer Gang of Their Henchmen to 'Help' Kerry Campaign Leak: Planned October Surprise May Include Nude Spread of Teresa Kerry-Heinz in National Publication

Bush Combats Kerry's 'W Stands for Wrong' Line, Says 'JFK Stands for Just Friggin' Krazy' CNNGALLUP Poll: Bush Ticket Leads Liberal Media Attack Machine by 11 Points

Sen. Edwards Mulling Run for Presidency in '04 FL Weathermen Hope to Dissuade Destructive Path of Ivan, Declare Early End to Hurricane Season

Panel: Bush Mislead Country When He Called Sen. Kennedy 'A Good Man' Delta Pilot Breaches Security: Reaches Cockpit With Nail Clippers in Pocket

Florida GOP Fears Loss of FoxNews Cable Broadcasts in Wake of Hurricane Frances David Copperfield Saws Assistant in Half; Funeral to be Held Tuesday

Bush Praises 'Honorable Service' of Swift Boat Veterans' Ad Company Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Not Dead Yet

Kerry Asks GOP to Remove Ads That Attack Moveon.org Attack Ads Barney Frank Finds Knight in Shining Leisure Suit

Shrill Early Warning Signal Screech Beats Al Franken's Air America Show in Ratings Bob Graham to Publish Encyclopedia Britannica - Sized 'Diary Memoirs'

Shocker: Swift Boat Veterans for Truth Not Financed By Pro-Kerry Sources! Swift Boat Veterans for Nader Tied to Bush Through Anti-Kerry Group Financed by Org Opposing George Soros

Republicans Asked Not to Gloat as American Economy Improving Again Voting Assistance to be Provided for Handicapped, Vision-Impaired, and Democrats

Iraqi Prime Minister Still Alive CNN Claims 'Unfair & Unbalanced' Charge is 'Only Half Right'

Kerry Denounces 'Right-Wing Attack Machine' for Calling Him 'a Democrat' Florida Officials: Approaching Hurricanes May Overshadow Voting Problems

Kerry Flip-Flops on Skull & Bones Pledge: Criticizes Fellow Bonesman Porter Goss for Stuff Donald Trump Files Chapter 11, Will Temporarily Move Into Mike Tyson's YMCA Locker to Save Money

Kerry to Introduce Another Version of Self in Major Policy Speech Friday 1968 Buick Electra Introduced to Cuba

Kerry & Edwards on Waiting List for Newfangled Hybrid Electric-Powered Mansions Kerry Leads Bush by 'Wide Margin' in CNNGALLUPDNC Poll of 'Likely Bush Protesters'

Unsatisfied With Bounce From Kerry's Convention, Bush Issues New Terror Warning Left-Wing Opinion Personality Bill O'Reilly to Release Memoirs About Right-Wing Past

Howard Dean Questions 'Timing' of Bush Morning Workout Kerry's Butler in Hot Water for PB&J Mishap

Teresa Heinz Tells Wealthy Heiress Near Husband to 'Shove It' Irresponsible Python Owner Found in Python

Leak: Kerry's 'Top Secret Iraq Plan' Includes Carteresque Return to Normalcy Some Democrat Convention Delegates Caim 'Dis-enfranchisement' by Presence of American Flags

Threat Level Raised at Taco Bell HQ on Elm St. Teresa Heinz Busy Working on Addition of English to Her Foreign Language Arsenal

Visuals of Kerry Lip-Locked With Dying Hampster Ruined Speech for Many Balloon Guy Asks Kerry to Open for Him Again at Next Gig

Bush May Announce bin Laden Capture During Tonight's Speech About Kerry's Vietnam Service Confused Delegate Thinks Edwards Worked for a Millworker in Vietnam

Kerry to Come Clean About Relationship With Edwards in Tonight's Speech Al Sharpton Tacks Farther to the Left With Speech to Solidify Whacko Vote for Kerry

Barak Obama Tired of Right Wingers Referring to Him as 'Barak Osama', After Infamous Terrorist Osama bin al-Zawattaheiri Ron Reagan Jr. Delivers 'Non'-Political Speech Politicizing Stem Cell Funding and Begging for Kerry Votes

'Unexpected' Cable Audio Outages Expected in Red States Tonight During Teresa Heinz Speech Ted Kennedy Adds to 'No Bush Bashing' Fatwa: Fat Sen. Calls For Conventiongoers to Tone Down 'Chappaquiddick Rhetoric' in Hallways

Thousands of Military Police Armed With Teargas and Machine Guns Struggle to Keep 'Peace' Protesters at Bay Kerry Handlers Scrambled for Off Button as Teresa Heinz Wandered Dangerously Close to Microphone

Clinton Decides to Allow Kerry to Speak at Convention America to Stop Inviting Terror Attacks by Ridding Itself of Wealth, Women

9-11 Commission Recommends End to Future Terror Attacks Larry King is Still Alive

9-11 Commission: Proof that 9-11 Could Have Been Prevented May be in Sandy Berger's Sock Drawer Timing of Media's Inaction Questioned in Berger Probe

NY Times Stuffs Berger Doc Theft Coverage in its Pants 'Inadvertently' and 'Sloppily' Lance Armstrong Retakes Lead in Tour de France; Race Nearing Finish With Only 612 Days to go

Court: Donations to NPR Qualify as Contributions to Kerry/Edwards Campaign Presidential 'Candidate' Dennis Kucinich Mistakes Cough From Back of Room for Applause

Kerry Rejects Al Gore's Suggestion to Talk About Lock Boxes in Debates Woody Allen & Daughter Celebrate 12th Wedding Anniversary

Kerry-Edwards Union Jeopardized by Talk of Ban on Gay Marriage Kucinich Camaign Event Attended by Tumbleweed, Silence

Disenfranchised Democrats Claim DNC.org Website is 'Too Confusing', Should be Paper-Based Study: Only The Rich Can Afford Voting Lessons

'60 Minutes' Plugs Kerry-Edwards Ticket During Investigative Report on 1 Hour Film Processing Kucinich Claims 'Bump' From Slowdown in Supporters Leaving Campaign

Bush Declines Invite to Speak at 'French Coalition for a Bush-Free America' Event John Kerry Claims Service in Vietnam, Medals

Poll Knocks Wind Out of GOP Sails: Most Democrats Lean Toward Kerry/Edwards Ticket Leak: Edwards Added to Kerry Ticket to Win South for Bush

Senate Intelligence Committee Exonerates Bush, Says Prez Didn't 'Lie', but Clinton's CIA Did Americans Still Trying to Figure Out What Teresa Heinz Said the Other Day

Edwards Changes Stump Speech to 'Three Americas' in Order to Include Size of Kerry Fortune Leak: Edwards First Choice for Democratic Presidential Nominee Was John McCain

Pro-Choice Kerry Disagrees With Abortion Today Al Sharpton Re-Enters Presidential Race, Cites 'Lack of Color, Grownups' on Democratic Ticket

Dick Gephardt Claims NY Post Headline Error is Legally Binding, Asks Edwards to 'Step Aside' No Longer Waiting by the Phone, Bob Graham Returns to Diary

Bush Admin Mulls Plans to Install Pro-American Democracy in Hollywood Democrats Make Headway Against U.S. in War on Terror

Racist Bill Cosby Dares to Warn Parents Against Letting Rap Music CDs Raise Their Children U.S. Calls on U.N. to Monitor U.N.

From Prison Cell, Iraqi Information Officer Insists 'Infidel Coalition Forces Have All Been Defeated' Documentary Box Office Record Previously Set By 'Fahrenheit 9-11' Broken By 'Scooby Doo III'

Prison Guards Crack Up As Saddam Insists He's 'Still President of Iraq' Gore Offers 'Charisma Tips' To Kerry

Cheney Hands Presidential Power Back to Bush Under Cover of Darkness Homeless Shelter Offers Inadequate Training Facilities For Mike Tyson's Upcoming Fight; Sparring With Fellow Bagpeople Becoming 'A Problem'

Saudi Arabia Offers Amnesty to Hotel Towel Thieves: Punishment for Returning 'Borrowed' Towels by July 2 Will Be Simple Behanding, Not Beheading Coalition Officials Mock Excitedly Ignorant Saddam, Pretnd to Hand Sovereignty Back to Him

New Film 'The Day After Fahrenheit 9-11' Depicts Michael Moore Burning To Death In Global Cooling Catastrophe Illegal Aliens Take Advantage of New Water Stations, ATMs During Border Crossings

CNN Interviewer Rocks Michael Moore With Hardball Question: 'Why Do You Hide Your Cute Fat Face With That Sexy And Scraggly Beard?' Special Baby Einstein video produced for Remaining Kucinich Supporters; Baby Idiot to be Released in September

BREAKING:
WMD Find Found Buried Deep in Classifieds Section of New York Times		 Poll: Most Agree With Cheney's Petitioning of Sen. Leahy to "F-Off"

Clinton Making Millions From Idiots Buying His Memoirs For Ceremonial Book Burnings Teresa Heinz's Likeability Ratings Rival Jimmy Carter Economic Figures

Threat to Kidnap and Behead Michael Moore Greeted By Applause, Encouragement, and Financing Offers NASA Cuts Brake Lines on Newfangled Commercial Space Ship

Independent Counsel to Investigate Clinton Book 'Because It Can' New York Times Book Reviewer Sleeping on Clinton's Couch

Kucinich Takes Extended Lunch Break to Write His Memoirs Continually Absent From Leaderboard, Tiger Woods Pressed By Nike Execs to Try New Trainer, Nike-Brand Tees, Divorce

Kerry Claims New Bush Ad 'Hurt His Feelings', Demands Fourth Purple Heart Leak: Saucy, Cheeky Teresa Heinz and Hot, Sexy Hillary Rodham to Shock Boston Convention With Madonna-Inspired Lip Lock

'Sexy' and 'Saucy' Teresa Heinz Claims 'Cheeky' Reference Was to Husband's Botoxed Face Fist-Sized Fetal Formation Excercises Right to Choose, Opts Out of Abortion Death, Chooses Birth

Kerry Battles Bill Clinton Portrait, Chelsea Clinton Makeover for Media Coverage Pentagon Argues Michael Moore - Al Queda Connection Reason Enough to Topple Fat Film Fabricator

Bush Executive Order Makes Nov. 3, 2004 'National Day of Mourning" Should Kerry Win Election Media Poll: Conservatives Being Edged Out of Mainstream by More 'Common-Sensed' Left-Wingers

Reagan Criticized for 'Attempting to Silence' Abu Graib Prison Scandal Coverage With Death Woman Worth Twice As Much As Teresa Heinz Catches John Kerry's Eye at Reagan Funeral

Ted Kennedy Over Morning Carb Limit; Obese Senator Ordered by Concerned Doctor to Settle for Bacon-Wrapped Steak for Lunch 50 Year Harvard Study Reveals Shock: Men, Women Are Different

Kucinich Suspends Campaigning to Get Oil Change U.S. Threatens to Outsource Massachussetts to India

Move Afoot in Congress to Put Reagan on $10 Bill Challenged by Kerry Camp; Request Submitted to Put Kerry's Face on Vertically-Formatted $20 France, Germany Snub G8 Summit, Will Form G2, Meet in Put Down the Street

Study: Most 'Reagan Democrats' Are Now 'Limbaugh Republicans' Gerhard Schroeder Continues to Uncomfortably Celebrate Defeat of Germany at Another D-Day Ceremony

Smarty Jones Says Expectations are "Unfair", Cites $10,000 Winning Bet Pays $7 Reagan Health Failing; Democrats Claim GOP is Politically Timing a Debate on How Republicans Won the Cold War

Bank Holding Fourth Mortgage on Kucinich Home Nixes Request by 'Candidate' to Pawn Property in Order to Raise Campaign Cash Bush in Europe Trying to Appear Like He Doesn't Hate it There

Al Gore Claims His Ubiquitous Sweat Stains are 'Hard Proof' of Global Warming Giant Publishers Clearing House Check Stuck in Bank Processing Machine

FBI Calms Public: Says Terrorist Theft of Propane Tankers is 'Not Linked to Terrorism' Killer Whale Murders Peaceful Seal as Environmentalist Whackos Look on in Horror, Denial

Bush Consults With Secret Group of Skull & Bones Neocon Foreign Policy-Influencing Oil Buddies Again Shares of Met Life in Toilet After Company Agrees to Insure New Iraqi President

'Snow Tomorrow' Weather Forecast in Alaska Freaks Out Enviromentalist Intellectuals Trailing in Polls, Kucinich Claims 'Secret Foreign Admirers Also'

Butler for Sen. Kerry's Gulfstream V Jet Insists Candidate is 'Just Like Any Regular Guy' Kofi Annan Nixes John Kerry's Request to 'Skip Broccoli, Go Out and Play'

Terror Specifics Clarified by FBI: Terror Threat to America is Sen. Kerry Maximum Mullet Limit Reached at Local Wal-Mart

Democrat John McCain Tapped By Hillary For Kerry's VP Occupation of America by WalMart Concerns Pentagon

Hollywooders in France Hand Michael Moore's Anti-Bush Film 'Surprise' Award Madeline Albright's Life-Size American Bald Eagle Brooch Proves Her Patriotism

Gas-Through-The-Mail Being Bid to $1.50/gallon in eBay Auctions France Still Lagging Third-World Countries in Indoor Plumbing

Kweisi Mfume to Cosby: 'What'chu went and done said dat fer?' Madonna's 'I'm Still a Whore' Tour Begins With a Bang

Unflattering New York Times' Book Review Hurting Bible Sales Hans Blix to Pose Nude for Underground Muqtada al-Sadr Insurgency Newsletter

9-11 Commission Democrats Accuse Guliani of 'Ineptitude' on 9-11; Gov. Kean Denies Hearing was Dry-Run of SNL Skit Jane Fonda Complains "Hanoi John" References to Kerry are Tarnishing Her Image

Peter Jennings: Nuclear Explosion in Falujah Today was 'Pretty Small' and was Leftover From 'Old Regime'; Search Still on for WMD 'Smoking Gun' New Chrome Spinning Rims Make Owner of $700 Car Look Like a High - Rolling Celebrity

Leak: Kerry Speechwriter Scrubs 'Mark of the Beast ID System Proposal' From Campaign Speech Hillary Clinton Busy Penning Sequel to Dick Morris Best Seller 'Rewriting History'

Explosion of Jobs Stifling Jobless Economic Recovery Dennis Kucinich Awarded Honorary 'Survivor' Win by CBS

Rumsfeld on Charges That He Approved Interrogation Methods: 'I Only Acted on Directives From My Neocon Puppet Masters' Afghanistan Prisoner Abuse Allegations Provide Networks With Windfall for Sweeps Week

Photo of Cigar - Smoking Clinton Axed For X-Prez Book Cover Now That They're Popular, Bono Stops Wearing Ugly Sunglasses

More Space Found on Home Shopping Network for Additional Coverage of Iraqi Prisoner Scandal Poll: Milwaukee Residents Drinking at Bars Less, Move to Pubs

Defense Secretary Rumsfeld Petitions Drunkard Ted Kennedy to Step Down Over Chappaquidick Mess Islamic Clerics Argue Mosque Voucher Program Will Offer Freedom of Choice, Better Educated Suicide Bombers

Kerry Considering Gen. Wesley Clark For VP to Fill Absence of "War Hero" on Ticket Fork Introduced to China

New Torture Photos Show Democrats Forced to Watch Kerry Win Their Party's Nomination 'Friends' Finale to be Preempted by More Iraqi Prisoner Abuse Coverage

Blockbuster Revelation in New Kerry Ad: Senator Has Apparently Served in Vietnam New Torture Tapes of Saddam Forced to Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Bush Speeches Infuriates Dems

Sen. Kerry Holds Commanding Lead as Presumptive Loser of 2004 Presidential Election French Defense Cuts Leave 'Troops' With Off-White Flags, Non-Aloed Kleenex, Generic Lipstick, and Paper Mache 'Guns'

Sen. Kerry Proposes 'Investment' in Higher Taxes Couple Taken by Nigerian Email Money Scam: Only Received $24 Million of Promised $35 Million

Kerry Flip-Flops Again on Medals: "I Didn't Throw My Medals Away, I Threw My Credibility Away" New Gillette Mach 4 Plus HyperTurbo SuperSonic Dynamo Razor Has 8 Blades, is Only $48 for 4

Americans Aghast at Photos of Flag-Draped Coffins; Most Thought Iraq Casualties Were Imaginary U.S. Military on Alert After Massachusetts Flexes Muscle With Underground Nuke Test

North Korea Nominated to Chair United Nation's Council on Democracy Yankees Lose to Bronx YWCA Team; Derek Jeter on Fire With 1-for-33 Hitting Streak

64 Anti-Coalition Insurgents in Falujah Suffer From Mysterious Injestion of Ammunition Flip-Flopping Kerry Flip Flops Again on Vietnam Medal Flip Flop Flop

Kerry: Meaning of 'Medals', 'Ribbons', and Verb 'Is' Are All Interchangeable Kerry Apologizes for Pricey Bouffant Trim; Will Now Transport Hairdresser in Toyota Prius, Not $35 Million Jet

Kerry's New Foreign Policy Targets Foreign Countries Such as France, Russia, America Neoliberals in Texas Concocting War Against American Values

Michael Jackson to 'Normalize' Image for Trial: Will Wear Old Nose, Shed Military Outfits Synchronized Flip-Flopping to Make Olympic Debut

Bush's 'Air Dirtification Initiative' Greeted With Skepticism, Coughs Dean Attacked, Mauled By Herd of Persistant Dean Supporters

Bob Woodward's Campaign Against Bush HQ Bugged Iranian Actress Recognized for Valiant Efforts to Increase Land Mine Usage

Kerry Waffles on Religion: Is Now Southern Baptist With Rebel Flag on His Limo Omarosa Fired From Omarosa.com For Instigating Racial Tensions, Cat Fights

Democrats 'Unite' to Hold Noses and Vote for Kerry Kevorkian Fights Ban on Partial Death Euthanasia

Time Share Sales in Sunni Triangle Still Slow Haliburton Olive Branch Offer to Host '08 DNC Convention Rejected

New Misery Index Ties Dan Rather's Smiles Per Hour Inversely to Progress in Iraq Man With vI@gRa69@aol.com Email Address Not Hearing Back From Friends

Mills Lane to Referee Presidential Debates; Kerry Complains 7-Second Delay Will 'Stifle My F--ing Message' Herb Ritts Coffee Table Nudes of Madeline Albright Greeted by Lackluster Sales, Nausea

Kerry Clears Air Again: "F** that... I didn't mean what I meant to say." Bush Blames Howard Stern for Falujah Quagmire, Deficit, Gas Prices

Dick (Clark) to National Security Advisor Rice: "Nugh Uh." Benedict Arnold Charity Sending Donations Overseas to India

Senator Kerry Put on Ridilin for Flip-Flop Problem Global Economies Shaken After Temporary eBay Outage

Police on Alert As Anti-Semitic Promise Keepers Riot in Stadiums, Arenas Across Country Marines Invite Sen. Kerry to Falujah to "Watch" Extermination of Anti-American Radicals

Condi Rice Testimony Anticipation: Dems Request 7 Second Delay Falujah Residents Not Excited to be Chosen For New Round of Hydrogen Bomb Testing

Leak: Trump Fires Carolyn in Apprentice Finale Dennis Kucinich Tired of People Laughing at Him

Job Growth Roars Back Into Democrat's Real-Life Nightmare April Fools: Hannity April Fools Joke Wasn't April Fools Joke

Dan Rather Criticizes 'Bush-Loving Right-Wing Crazies' for Calling Him 'Biased' Ted Kennedy Roaming Halls of Congress, Seeking Whom He May Devour

President Mulls Deploying Marine Band to Colonize France Gore Gets Voice Back After Last Week's "Speech"

FEC APPROVES RUSH LIMBAUGH TO DEBATE KERRY IN BUSH'S STEAD AP ERRONEOUSLY REPORTS BARNEY FRANK PREGNANCY

DEAN STUFF MOVES FROM 50% OFF TO 90% OFF BIN MADRID BOMBERS GIVEN POSITIONS IN ZAPATERO'S CABINET

KERRY TELLS POPE TO 'F-CK OFF' KUCINICH CAMPAIGNING FOR JANITORIAL POSITION IN KERRY ADMIN

KERRY SAYS ANOTHER DEROGATORY THING ABOUT BUSH 'COWBOY' BUSH CRITICIZED FOR NOT BEING COWBOYISH ENOUGH
 
RICHARD "DICK" CLARK UNVEILS FIFTH VERSION OF ALLEGATIONS FRENCHMAN JACQUIE CHOCHRAN TO DEFEND SADDAM IN WORLD COURT

BUSH TO OUTSOURCE KERRY'S JOB TO SOME FOREIGN COUNTRY BIN LADEN CAVE RUNNING OUT OF CANNED FOOD, TOILET PAPER

 

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