| Tears
and Mascara Run on Election Night
:: by R. Frank | R. Frank's bio | On
a night when I dubbed Nov. 5 "LEGALACTION NIGHT" on my website
(with It may be too early to tell (you'll know by the time you read this), but it certainly looks like Tom Daschle will be relegated to Minority Loser. I love observing the attempts by the cable kingpins to hide their little liberal bias. Call it a right-wing-wacko hobby of mine. Tonight was a goldmine of fun. First of all, it was great to see the long faces and hear the somber tones on the cable news networks tonight. That meant Republicans were gaining ground! What's going on?... a referendum on liberal politics in this country?? It's all so confusing... For those of you who chose sleep over the excitement of the President's right-wing army taking over the government, here's a run-down: 11:10 On CNN, Aaron Brown wipes sweat off his face (was this finger-in-the-breeze an indication of horrible things to come?) 11:14 On CNN, Judy Woodruff appears to have had to re-apply mascara. This is when I started realizing that things were really looking up. 11:15 Aaron Brown and Howard Fineman (of Newsweek fame) appear on the verge of simultaneous breakdowns in the midst of having to report landslide-like Republican gains in individual races. 11:20 Daschle concedes to the possibility of having to possibly concede his deathgrip on the Senate... kind of. 11:35 MSNBC - Chris Matthews' "panel" (including the talented Donna Brazille) begins surmising how wonderful it will be for Dems to be able to blame everything on Republicans now that they control everything. Comments to follow include the supposition that voters had to "understate the hatred for Governor Bush" and "what went wrong in Florida?". That's nice. I'm a Floridian. I voted for the BUSH DYNASTY and everything went just fine. Thanks "panel". 11:46 Lawrence O'Donnel, MSNBC's Senior Political Analyst, began whining. "What's the big deal - picking up several seats in the Senate?". In other words... so what if you won - your momma wears combat boots. Ooooohh... good one. 11:48 All of a sudden, this apparent Republican SWEEP that is underway (referendum on liberalism?) becomes "no surprise" to the cable experts. That's funny... I though ANY outcome in this midterm would be a surprise- not the least of which would be a GOP takeover of the Senate. 11:49 MSNBC - Donna Brazille brazenly repudiates ANY possibility of any possible concession - in ANY race... even the ones already lost. Gee... that's not like her. 12:32 CNN - Aaron Brown, concluding a discussion regarding Saxby's win in Georgia: "I want to shoot myself". Don't take my word for it. Remember, I'm biased... get the transcript. 12:43 CNN - Larry King entertains, at some significant length, the intelligent political views of Bill Maher. Among his brilliant observances are: Liddy Dole (who won) uses "Viagra in her hair", the President has no clue, the War on Terror is Dead, and NO, he is NOT going to miss Jesse Helms or Strom Thurmond. Thank Larry for that hard-ball question. 1:07 CNN - excitement escalates as Carnahan reduces Talent's lead to 1 point. Aaron Brown decides Missouri is the microcosm of the U.S. and the referendum on the President. Hope hangs on Jean. 1:32 CNN (Crossfire) - Paul Begala and James Carville, well... you can just imagine. Carville also man-handles a trash can to demonstrate his desire to "throw up". I'm tired. there's too much fun here. It's not over yet, but there's been enough fun to bet that Bernard Goldberg and Ann Coulter are probably busy penning their sequels right now. Good night... and Godspeed to the Republicans in the undecided races. -R. Frank
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